Currently Listening Lifesong By Casting Crowns see related

ok...wow...its been a long time hasnt it...sorry about that yall...things have just been really crazy lately  becuase of a huge amount of makeup games we've had to have due to rain and all sorts of other things lately...i think after this monday's game against greenville will finally get us all caught up on where we need to be...another thing caused by all these games is some pretty intense exaustion such as this weekend when i've played pretty much all of every game this week...yep...four in one week and then we have today to rest then two more this week...one on monday and then another on tuesday...thank you Jesus for the long weekend we're gettin...of course that will only mean that i'll have to work somewhere around 25 hours at work on the days off...which gets me a pretty sizeable paycheck at the end of it all and the tips that i get included, but i guess as the saying goes, no rest for the weary...but right now in all this hectic mess...i'm finding my peace in the same things as always...when it gets to be to rough just go back to music...when its too much to handle...all this calculus, tryin to feel like deserve the position i'm playing this year in soccer games, gettin a little overwhelmed with being a senior and all the college college college stuff that comes with it...i just quit whatever it is i'm doing and either go for a drive or just go lay on my bed and listen to music...casting crowns is definitely one of my top pics along with a new selah cd i have and then the song that i put on the last post...but its absolutely how pleasantly addicting music is to me...the thing i miss most about last year is piano which hopefully mrs. martin will be able to get back to soon...i feel so bad for her...and i can honestly say i know a little bit of what josh and tara and the rest of the grandchildren are going through...i know how much that hurts, but when i started thinking about it...the thing that got me through my mimaw dieing was music...thats where i began to enjoy music as much i do now...all i can think about in class right now is music...i tune out everything else around me sometimes and am totally wrapped up in some song running through my head, singing it myself and figuring out different harmonies and just wishing that i played the piano just a little better and then wishing i had a guitar soooooo bad and wishing i knew how to play a guitar so bad...its kinda funny thinkin about it because i guess thats not what most kids are usually caught spacing out and daydreaming about in class...its all music for me...i cant even sit and read a book without a word or something bringing a song to mind and then i'm gone...lost in the music...if i can try to draw all these rabbit trails together for everyone...i've found that music is one of the best healers in the world...whenever there is soemhting hurting you, stirring emotions in you...making you restless...having an argument, fight, whatever you wanna call it with someone that you REALLY hate making sad...music seems to make it all go away...not crazy head banging music, but soft meditative music...all acoustic guitar and piano style like music...i'm telling you...nothin beats it and i just want to let you all know somethin that blesses me down to the heart...music is here for our enjoyment, but i also believe that music is here to help us along in times when we need something uplifting our souls...i dont really know what this means for me...but instead of acting, and instead of medical whatever...all of a sudden music has become the only thing i want to do...mark hall said that before he started casting crowns and began writing songs that he seemed to have little buttons in the back of his head that could be pushed and kept him from just jumping out on a limb and seeing what could happen...i sorta kinda feel the same way...but it just seems like more and more of those buttons are going away and i dont really care about all the "drawbacks" and things that "might happen if i mess up"...i just want to sing...i want to play the piano...i want to play the guitar...i want to be as much a blessing through music to others as music is to me...if i can make people feel better through music...if i can help get rid of their pain and get rid of the hurt thats inside, deeper...than what just a card or smile can take care...the stuff that can only be healed through reflection and learning how to forgive and forget about things inside your own heart...not just superficial words and writings, but an actual change on the inside...if i can help someone do that through my music that would be the hugest feeling in my entire life...

wow...thats a little longer than what i had intended to write, but music has just all of a sudden exploded in my head as...wow...something i've been blessed with a natural talent to...no way it couldve happened on my own...no lessons classes or anything like that could make me be able to catch on to things like i do...its all a blessing and blessings arent meant to be kept all to ones self...i think they are meant to share with others to be an even bigger blessing to them...for a long time i've thought that music...particularly singing is just my own thing...something just for me...but now that i'm starting to let go of it and "share" it...i've begun to actually like it instead of it only being a negative thing, its becoming one of my biggest helps and friends in everyday life...my only wish is to continue getting better and understanding what i love to do more that way i can maybe...who knows...its almost a fear to say it because its merely a wish that i dont want to vanish, but what do i dream of doing...i want to perform on stage...i want music to be my living...i want to have concerts, sing, cd's the whole thing...i'm only scared of it all becoming too big and forgetting why i started in the first place and becoming prideful instead of humble and respectful of the GIFT that i've been given and not think of it as something that i've made on my own...thats sorta whats holding me back i guess...

well i seriously could talk about this all day long, but i'm talkin to a very special person right now...the one who's actually helped and encouraged me the most to not hold on and be selfish with this whole singing thing and has sorta helped me break outta that whole "what will people think and say" shell and just go with it...take a jump out and sing...do what i love to do the most and what makes me the happiest...not only making other people feel better...which as cheesy as it sounds i honeslty love makin people feel better...which is yet another thing i could take forever to talk about...but doing it through singing...

anyways i'll leave you with what i've got here and hope you all have a good day...thanks for your time...i know it was long...but hey...i've been gone awhile....until next time

-Richard

Currently Listening Don't You Fake It By The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus see related

"Your Guardian Angel"

When I see your smile
Tears run down my face I can't replace
And now that I'm strong I have figured out
How this world turns cold and breaks through my soul
And I know I'll find deep inside me I can be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

It's ok. It's ok. It's ok.
Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you I'll be the one

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Cuz you're my, you're my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away
Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away,
Please tell me you'll stay, stay

Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be ok
Though my skies are turning gray

I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

Currently Watching We Were Soldiers (Ws Sub) By Mel Gibson, Madeleine Stowe, Greg Kinnear, Sam Elliott, Chris Klein, Keri Russell, Barry Pepper, Don Duong, Ryan Hurst, Robert Bagnell, Marc Blucas, Josh Daugherty, Jsu Garcia, Jon Hamm, Clark Gregg, Desmond Harrington, Blake Heron, Erik MacArthur, Dylan Walsh, Mark McCracken see related

well...schools here and well...its school...nothin too bad or anything other than i have to get out of all those wonderful summer time habbits...mostly sleeping in...but right now soccer seems to be the new stress relief and thinkin about tomorrow's game while sitting here watching the coolest movie ever (we were soldiers) and thinkin about how much i love playin a new spot this year...even though i wanted goal...field is pretty sweet where i am...not makin any promises but hopefully playin at midfield this year i might score one...or two...or three...or four...and then some more...but anyways been kinda crazy right up to school got back from cayman then had work and soccer then went to good old west virginia with the youth group from wake union to go white water rafting...which was pretty much the coolest trip of the whole summer because i got to go with Brandy instead of having to be away from her for a while...thats one of the only other drawbacks with school starting...being away from her again after being together just about every spare minute of the summer...but that just makes the times together that much better...like the weekend when i got to go with her and my boy philip to a stephen curtis chapman/third day concert out at roanoke rapids...it was pretty awesome...especially the little spray tents and the snow cones (or...ice)...and the two old people in front of us...pretty wicked awesome old folks...but anyways we had our first game last friday and we beat vandalia 6-3...and i'm still kinda sore from that to be totally honest...midfield is awesome but its alot of work...but as far as tomorrow's game...hahah...us v.s. rca...that should be awesome after all coach loy did say he needed someone in the middle to "roughhouse"....lol...thats all you gotta tell me to play them...but the other reason i'd like to do realyl good is that there might be this really wicked awesome girl who's also really beautiful and basically a little piece of heaven here on earth might be comin to see me play tomorrow and i want to be able to keep her attention for a "stupid soccer" game...lol...i'm just playin but then theres another game on friday...honestly i dont know who its against but hopefully she can come to that one too...but i dont know if she'll be able to because thats her first day of school...and its also opening day of the only movie that i really really have been lookin forward to this whole summer...invincible...definitely want to go see that...but this weekend i'm goin out to eat on saturday with Brandy's family because they think that my birthday is some type of special occasion or somethin that they need to spend way too much money on and then sunday night she's got somethin else up her sleeve but as far as gettin to see invincible that might have to wait till the same day as the josh and Brandy party...which she hasnt really told said anything more about lately...hope she didnt forget or called the party off...but i suppose she's already doin enough already as it is...i dont need anything else...but we'll see i guess...well right now i gotta go because i aint seen this movie in forever and three days so i wanna go see the rest of it because its definitely my most favorite movie...anyways hope this will work for some sort of new update...wish i knew where all those comments ran off too that i used to get...i dont want all the "controversy" just wanderin what you think...had to go run and cry cuz of the last updates poor showing...but anyways i'll shut up and talk more to you all later...as always thanks for your time...come see the game tomorrow...cant perform without and audience or fans...i need motivation...anwyays i mean it this time...i'm shutting up...

until next time

-Richard

guess who's back...back again...josh is back...tell a friend...guess who's back, guess who's back, guess who's back....anyways enough of all that...yes i am back from grand cayman...what a trip what a trip...definitely had some fun there but i was definitely hurting the whole time because a big piece of me was still here in north carolina the whole time i was away from her...but i'm really glad to be home...well not my home particularly but back where i can see pretty much the best lookin girl in the world...yep you guessed it...BRANDY...but i got to go see her last night which pretty much made my month...year...decade...whatever...somethin big like that...always love seein her after being gone for a while...makes me feel way better and that everything is still normal...but i'm back now for good...at least as far as big trips go...theres one small one coming up with wake union...goin up to the deck's country on a rafting trip up there in beautiful west virginia...maybe if we're lucky i can get mr. pat to go to spring hill bakery...but that would be pretty close to a miracle...but anyways today is one of those sit around the house days and wish i had soemthin to do days...yes...i know i went to see BRANDY yesterday...but fridays just arent the same without seeing her, but she's got somethin at youngs (cheerleading place for all of you out-of-the-loopers) and so i have to sit here and wait till tomorrow night to see her again...probably movie and goodberry's the usual perfection of a saturday night...but i need to stop talkin about it because its just makin me want to see her more tonight...but at least i'll have somehtin to do tonight...goin to go practice a new song with my boy sam for his graduation tomorrow mornin..if you have nothin better to do i guess you could come here me sing...but nevermind thats his graduation i just remembered you have to invited or somethin to hitngs like that...but dont worry or nothing...just come to wake union this sunday night at five or somehtin like that and i'll be singin the same song there...hopefully with sam but if not i think i'll have a backup cd with him playin the guitar for me on there...i cant wait to sing it again...sang it in cayman and loved it...definitely becoming my favorite song i've ever sung in church...but anyways i gotta go find somethin better to do because the more i write for some reason the more i have this huge "i have to go see BRANDY" urge...which isnt a bad urge...just is irritating when i cant see her until tomorrow...but anwyays i'll shut up and just say thats its good to be back...missed most of you..didnt some others...but thats ok i'm sure someone somewhere loves you more or somethin...but i'll leave more later

until next time

-Richard

...the music aint on here again...xanga needs to get with the program...i'm listening to the Josh and Brandy 2 cd which = love

Currently Listening Let Love In By The Goo Goo Dolls see related

ok...so past couple of days have been kinda crazy...tryin to figure everything out for cayman and all that...tryin to figure out where i'm suppossed to be for work..if i can work and when..blah blah blah...today its raining which i love except for the fact that it needed to do that on sunday not today...guess the rain missed the memo...but i cant mow the lawn either and that = no money...well i would still have some if it werent for my conscience telling me that its absolutely rediculous (however you spell that)...to wear jeans and a t-shirt and shoes in the summer (like i always have) and that i should go get some shorts and sandals and that i'd be way more confortable...so (even though i still feel just as hot and still would rather it be around 70 with a slight breeze and overcast) i went and got two or three pairs of shorts...one that i dont like to much because i figured it would be like the others and not all long and everything...but anyway i got those and then went and got the ever popular not cool sandals unless you get these crazy things...rainbows...i dont see how people wear these things everyday...of course most people dont have feet like mine...stupid people stomping all over them in various soccer games through my just incredible career on the field...but who knows i might get used to shoving my fat wide feet and swolen ankles into these things on a daily bases and start to like it or something...

as for the last post...some have no clue what that was about...some have guessed it on the first try...(props to seth)...and then there are some who probably havnt even read it yet...but anyway that was one of my "stories" and every character has a part in it and i suppose i'm the only one who knows who they are but that story does have and ending to it and i just need to get around to writing it...i promised a happy ending to someone pretty special so that means that i really want to do it right so i'm sorta going through some rough drafts in a notebook of mine that i have a bunch of these little stories written down in...sorry that IS NOT for the public eye...but anyway i'll try to get on that and write the last bit of that story for you...some pieces arent quite in the right place yet though for inspiration so it might be a few more days still to come...

...hope everyone had a good 4th of july weekend...i know i did for the most part...my favorite part was actually on the 2nd....some of you know why...others dont...its ok ...that just happens to be a holiday that comes around every month and this one was spent with BRANDY duh...had an absolutley fan freakin tastic time...saw a movie that she enjoyed...umm..i'm glad she did because i spent most of the movie trying to figure out what was goin on...i'm sure it was sweet and whatever else one might say to call a chic flic nice because it honestly wasnt as bad as i thought it would be but anyways after that...i took her out to eat and "surprised" her by taking her to her favorite restaurant...bahama breeze..where she once again ordered somethin that i thought she would order and i once again...yes you guessed it...ordered shrimp...so once again her order tasted better than mine i was just sorta scared by the fact that it had the word pasta in its title...yes pasta scares me...but anyway we had a great time...or maybe she did watching me try to gifure out what to put into my not so sweet tea to make it more bojanglesish...apparently cane sugar doesnt work to well...especially when you put too much of it in there...but besides that the waitress who was apparently terified of this weird looking guy with curly hair and a gotee and a pink shirt on and this short although incrediby beautiful girl (whort isnt a bad thing btw...wouldnt want a girl version of nate...a little too tall for me)...but she like was whispering and stuff couldnt hardly tell what she was saying...i was scared to say anything back because i didnt want to find out i had been the cause of her going into the back and cutting herself or something...those waitresses and waiters...they are some weird peoples...but anyway i'm starting to blab and i know all of you wanted to hear about what all we did so i decided i'd just let you all know before and odd rumors started flying around...no fields, parking lots, or ice rinks involved i promise...but to make a long story short it was fun and all of you will have to come visit in hawaii and come on in to bj's surf shop,  home of the long boards...it will be the coolest place there...you'll have to watch out for 21 and 22 though...they'll be sorta wild...

anyway i know this is a long update...but maybe some people might take this example and update too...who knows maybe they could try writing a story...i like stories...especially the ones where the nice guy actually wins...those are nice every once in a while...but hopefully you all are having a good day but its raining and poring and this old man is about to go outside on the porch and be snoring...hopefully not having any dreams like he's had the past couple of nights...oh whoops did i let that out...sorry dont pay any attention to that...only a side note...need to take some pills of some kind that eliminate really bad dreams that you wake up sweating and talking in...but anyway all of you have a nice day as i have had and i can wait to see YOU on tomorrow night...hopefully saturday too...if not its all good we'll work somethin out...until next time

-Richard